Horse Jobs and Hiring Blog

A Bond of Trust Between Equine Employers and Employees

A Bond of Trust Between Equine Employers and Employees

 

Too often the trust between Equine employers and employees is out of balance. Every successful equine employer/employee relationship is built on a bond of trust.  When a balanced bond of trust exists in the relationship the employer and employee can rely on each other to protect each other's interests to a degree.  A bond of trust means mutual respect exists in the relationship. 

The trust that exists between employer and employee needs to be balanced.  In the horse industry and in many employment situations the trust is out of balance.  Sometimes the employee trusts the employer completely from the outset and gets burned when expectations don't materialize.  Sometimes employers trust their employees in an unquestioning manner and are shocked when they find that the trust was never really warranted.  Sometimes either the employee or employer have been so burned in the past that they don't trust anybody. 

In real relationships based on the situation on the ground, trust is built over time from one stage of the relationship to the next. Expecting trust too soon or withholding it too long will damage the relationship.  When you make first contact with an employer or an applicant, only the first level of social trust is appropriate. The first level of trust expects each person to be courteous, respectful, and attentive.  Even this level of trust should not be granted if the respect, courteousness and attentiveness are not there.  Keep your eyes and ears open to see if this level of trust is really there.

The next level of trust comes from commitments, interaction and experience.  An employer or an applicant may request information, ask for a task to be completed, or set an appointment.  As requests and commitments are satisfied completely and in a timely manner, employer and applicant begin to trust that each will do what they promise to do.

It may take more than one successful experience, but once the trust of fulfilling commitments is established, the trust of mutual understanding can evolve.  The trust of mutual understanding arises when two people understand each other well enough to know their preferences and understand their approach to problems.  An equine employee may gain the confidence to make decisions in their job without consulting the boss, and the boss may rely on the employee to make those decisions. 

These three levels of trust are the basis for a sound employer/employee relationship.  Further trust is usually neither necessary nor appropriate.  Problems arise when employer or employee act upon trust that is not really there, or has not developed yet. If a employees make independent decisions before the employer is ready to trust them to do so, trouble will result. If an employee ignores being treated discourteously by their employer, difficulties will start in the relationship. If tasks are not completed on time or are done poorly, trust will deteriorate. 

From start to finish, strive to keep trust balanced in employer/employee relationships.  To do so, stay aware of what is really happening on the ground.  Don't wish things were different and put your head in the sand. Address any inequities or failures of trust as soon as they arise.

For more information on building a successful career in the horse industry, spend some time with The Career Game.  It's free.

Guest Blog - 4 Foundations for Getting Your Equine Career on Track

4 Foundations for Getting Your Equine Career on Track
by Beverly A. Buncher

When my clients are wondering what to do first to get their lives or careers back on track, I often ask them how they are doing with the basics. As a life and career coach, who often works with people whose lives are affected by their own or someone else’s blocks, I call these basics The Four Foundations of Family Recovery ©, but truly, they are foundational principles for inner growth for anyone who wants to move forward in their life since they are about the relationships we have with ourselves and others. We coaches have a saying, “How you are in one part of your life is how you are in all parts of your life.” So, by starting with a check up on the basics, I help my clients get a handle on what is and is not working in their life and how to get things back in sync.
The Four Foundations© are:

1. Self Care. Often, when things aren’t going our way, one of the first things to go is self care. Sometimes this can be as simple as brushing your teeth, as routine as exercising 3x or more a week, or as fundamental as eating nutritional food to keep your brain fit.

2. Being a Loving Person. This one can be less obvious but its lack in your life can be just as insidious and certainly just as important in its own way. Being a loving person means:

a. Treating others with dignity and respect even when they are acting badly (doing so without becoming a doormat becomes evident in foundation #3)
b. Treating ourselves with loving-kindness even when we are operating at less than our best
c. Not doing for another adult what they can do for themselves
d. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say without saying it mean

3. Setting boundaries for your own well-being. Boundary setting is difficult for a lot of people. It means:

a. sometimes having difficult conversations with people
 learning how to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes
b. learning how to say no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes
b. knowing what you can and cannot tolerate in your life and learning how to communicate that to the people who are important to you at home and work
c. being able to stand by your word – not only in your commitments to others but also in your commitments to yourself
e. not making idle threats or giving empty ultimatums, but rather, getting to a point where you are good for your word and people know that if you say something, you mean it

4. Getting support. For many people, getting support will be the most important of the four foundations because without support, they won’t be able to achieve the other three. Supports can include:

a. Friends and Family members
b. Therapist, Life Coach, Minister, Riding Instructor, Colleagues
c. Support group (12 step, therapy, or coaching group)
d. God (or whatever you call your Higher Power)
e. Prayer and/or Meditation
f. Church, mosque, synagogue

Often, when I first bring up the 4 Foundations©, my clients wonder how this is related to their goals. But when they begin to look more closely they get it. These four principles of taking care of yourself, being loving to self and others, setting boundaries that feel right to you, and getting support to live your best life and live up to your principles, are all about getting your act together in relationship to yourself, others, and your God (if you have one). By getting clear in these fundamental relationships, other things begin to gain clarity. You start to know what you want, what you stand for and where you want to go with your life and your career. You see yourself as someone who is effective in their own life and in relation to others and so you begin to be able to transfer this sense of effectiveness into the choosing and achievement of your goals as well.

For me, being a coach is being someone who knows how to ask the questions that can help my clients move forward in their lives to become who and what they want to be. If you think you could benefit from having a coach to help you take your next best steps, give me a call and let’s talk! Or, if you know someone who you think could benefit from working with me, please share my name and number with them!

In the meantime, thanks for reading and see you next time!

All the best,

Coach Bev

Beverly A. Buncher, MA, CEC
Family Recovery Coach (AKA The Empowerment Coach)

Author of the forthcoming book Family Recovery 101: The Four Foundations of Family Recovery©

www.theempowermentcoach.net

(786) 859 4050

About the author:

Coach Bev works with those whose lives or careers are stalled and helping them find their way to a saner, happier life. A horse mommy, she has spent many hours visiting barns, grazing horses and watching horse shows. She is skilled at helping her clients move past the blocks in their paths to live the lives they most dearly want to achieve.

Opinion - Where the Horse Industry is Headed?

In a horse industry career or in an equine business it pays to know where the horse industry is going next; what products and services will soon be in demand.  Successful horse people are the ones who get ready for the next trend before it gets here in a big way.  Being a leader instead of a follower may make the difference between success and failure.

In my opinion, the horse industry is making a shift from one emphasis to another. Training and competing are on the wane and horses are becoming more in-depth personal companions and perhaps even spiritual guides.  Before you get defensive or angry, let me say that training and competition will be around for a long time yet, and probably will always be part of what people do with horses.  However, training and competition are well established games in which the competition is formidable.  If you want to get in on the ground floor in providing contemporary training services, or in modern competition, it is too late.  The right moment for getting in on the ground floor probably occurred 75-100 years ago. 

Right now, there is an emerging arena of activities with horses which might be described as relationship oriented, growth and learning oriented, and spiritual in nature.  New trends frequently get started because they are responding to an emerging trend in our general society.  Western society itself is going through a transition. We are learning more self-awareness, more recognition that we all depend on each other, more sense of connectedness to nature, and a new scientific understanding that we are not here just by chance. 

The business of horses is beginning to respond to this broader trend.  The ground floor is now.  Organizations like Epona, EAGALA, and Parelli, to name a few, are focusing more and more on the human/horse relationship, and less on just training and competition.  Getting involved on the ground floor of something is always risky, because you are never certain that your crystal ball is totally clear.  Certainty will only come in hind sight, and by then the ground floor will be long gone. 

As long as there are people and horses, people will want to be involved with horses. Inevitably, this will lead to equine related businesses and equine employment.  Success will come to those who choose the right ground floor to get in on. 

What do you think?  Leave me a comment.

How Smart are Horses Anyway?

If we judge the intelligence of horses by our own standards, we are likely to be wrong every time. I hear all sorts of opinions about how smart or stupid horses are.  Some people seem to think they have little or no intelligence. Others think they are smarter than we are.  Why such extreme opinions?  You would think that we could come to some kind of consensus on this.

Human beings have a highly developed frontal cortex in the brain which gives us an unparalleled ability to conceptualize, generalize, plan for the future, and review the past.  This overdeveloped ability to conceptualize should not be confused with across the board superior intelligence.  As Temple Grandin suggests, we pay a big price for this advanced type of intelligence.  Because of our overdeveloped ability to conceptualize, we have an underdeveloped awareness of the present moment and poor awareness of our surroundings. 

Most everyone would agree that horses have a superior awareness of their surroundings and immediate attention to the present moment. How often does your horse see or sense something before you do?  How often do you get stepped on or bumped because your horse is leaving before you even sense that something is wrong?  Horses have superior intelligence to ours when it comes to being in touch with what is happening around them right now.  

Equine intelligence exceeds ours in other ways. Horses have a highly developed ability to read emotions and moods. When we have to ask someone how they are feeling, horses know without asking. This intuitive ability protects horses from being eaten by a predator, but allows them to live side by side with predators. For instance, they know instantly when a lion is hungry and on the hunt, or equally as instantly when a lion is not looking for a meal. 

Our superior ability to conceptualize can lead us to think that horses are stupid.  Horses have very little ability to conceptualize, but this does not make them stupid. If we train a horse to do something from the left side, we should not expect him to get the "concept" and then be able to do the same thing from the right side. Equine intelligence does not work that way.  Military conventions for horsemanship dictate always mounting horses from the left side. Horses can be mounted from the right, but they need to be taught the routine from the left and then again from the right (or vice versa) to "get it" on both sides. The military convention was established to cut down on training time. 

Horses have another kind of superior intelligence. They don't let past failures in relationships prevent them from starting over in the present. You've heard the saying "To err is human, and to forgive is equine."  Equines are always ready to start fresh in a relationship. They may be sceptical, but are usually easily convinced with the right kind of leadership.  Try starting over with your "ex" some time and you'll see that we are not nearly as intelligent. 

Horses also don't worry about the future the way we do. As far as a horse is concerned, the only thing that is worth getting upset about is what is happening right now. We would do well to learn that lesson. 

So, if we stop measuring a horse's intelligence by his ability to conceptualize, what are we left with?  We are left with a intelligent animal who is in touch with your every move, and is assessing your ability as a leader from moment to moment.  For many horses, the standards for leadership are very high. They are watching your every move in detail and deciding if you are worthy of their cooperation and trust.  A far cry from many of us who give away our trust for the most naive reasons some times. 

 

 

Relationships Make the World Go Round - Horses Teach Relationships

As Pat Parelli says "Horses are nature in its finest form."  They teach us our dependence on each other in this earth bound herd we live in, and they teach us how to build sound relationships with each other.  If you are in doubt about the world being built on relationships, consider Charles Darwin. 

Charles Darwin had it wrong, but not in the way you might think.  We commonly understand that Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is based on the evolution of species resulting from natural selection and driven by "survival of the fittest."  To the common mind, the theory of the "survival of the fittest" suggests a kind of in-dependent struggle to cope with a hostile environment and to survive at the expense of other less fit individuals.  Only those who claw their way to the top of the evolutionary ladder on the backs of those less fit will ultimately survive.

This kind of world view based on "winners" and "losers" has dominated the way human beings see the dynamics of their existence for most of recorded history.  Society coined the term "cultural Darwinism" as a way of expressing the in-dependent "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" approach to life that describes a world where we are on our own and must struggle to free ourselves from dependence on anything that might keep us from winning in the game of life.  The most cursory look at American suburban life shows us a large groups of people who are attempting to do just that, striving to be as independent and self sufficient as possible. 

Perhaps Charles Darwin himself was simply applying this common world view to his theory of evolution without conscious thought.  After all, "survival of the fittest" is a plausible and seemingly fitting way to describe evolution when you are used to seeing the world in these terms.

Survival of the fittest seems to have a place in the scheme of things.  However, there is a more fundamental universal principle that precedes survival of the fittest and makes survival possible.  This is the principle of relationships.  Without relationships, nothing survives.  At the higher levels of creation, living organisms depend on entirely on relationships with the environment, the food chain, and in some cases with each other for their very survival.  Without atmosphere to breathe, sunlight to transform, and soil to grow in, plant life would not exist.  Without food to eat, air to breathe, and energy to warm, animals would just be an imaginary glimmer in the eye of God.  At the highest levels of evolution, living organisms depend on each other for their existence.  The flowers and the bees have a dependent relationship along with many other species. Dependence finds its ultimate expression in modern human society.  I am writing this at 35,000 feet over the Gulf of Mexico traveling at 500 miles per hour on my way to visit my 95 year old father who lives in a "total care" facility in New Hampshire.  Without a vast array of dependent relationships between this plane and the environment it flies in, and the relationships between the innumerable people who have worked to build and fly this plane, I would not be up here. Without the complex relationships between health care professionals and people providing living assistance to my father, he would probably no longer be alive.

With the advent of the theory of Quantum Mechanics, scientists are beginning to understand that relationships are fundamental to the functioning of our universe at the most microcosmic level.  Quantum particles are subatomic particles which relate to each other mysteriously.  Although quantum particles have never been visually observed and are unlikely to be, they seem to influence each other in ongoing ways that we don't understand.  When one quantum particle encounters another, the two particles seem to gain a permanent relationship that stays with them no matter how much distance subsequently separates them.  In theory, after a chance encounter of two quantum particles, the two particles will perennially influence each other.  If one particle spins right, the other will respond with a spin right.  If the other spins left, they will both spin left. When you stop and think about a universe made up of a seemingly infinite number of sub-atomic quantum particles all with complex interrelationships and all responding to each other, the universe no longer seems like such a cold, empty, and meaningless place. 

However, before we swallow what we call scientific "fact" without question, let's put it in perspective.  "Fact" is a hard word which leaves little room for interpretation and adjustment.  The most thoughtful scientists talk in terms of theories, not facts.  Science like any other discipline is a way of seeing things.  Like many disciplines, science has some very useful ways of seeing things.  Science illuminates our world by enhancing our ability to reflect on and manage our existence in meaningful ways.  The disciplines of science illuminate life as do history, language, theology, and many other human endeavors.  To isolate science and refer to its holdings as "facts" invests humanity with definitive powers of observation and interpretation that we do not have.  Science provides more "illumination" than facts.

Quantum mechanics has lead us beyond quantum particles to String theory.  String theory suggests that matter and energy may not be as distinct from each other as we may have thought. String theory introduces the notion that matter is made up of "strings" which are no more than energy vibrating at a particular frequency.  Like strings on a guitar, different vibrations create different notes or chords.  This suggests that in some senses a piece of wood is not a piece of wood and a rock is not a rock.  At the subatomic level, both are forms of energy that are "vibrating" at a predictable and reliable rate. 

So, if the universe at the micro level is made up of energy vibrating in a grand symphony of frequencies that produce quantum particles which develop eternal relationships, we live in a pretty amazing place.  And yet, historically human beings have gone about their lives oblivious to the nature of their universe.  To an even greater extent, we have worked tirelessly to assert our in-dependence and self-sufficiency from our universe when in reality we live lives of  complete dependence on environment and interrelationships for our existence.  In society we talk about a successful executive as a "self made man" when in reality there is no such thing.  The achievements of every human being result from relationships with the environment and other human beings.  Without food, air, energy, parents, teachers, coworkers, and support services, we cannot exist and we cannot achieve.

For most of human history, we have been able to solve problems in isolation from each other one at a time.  To some extent we have also been able to ignore each other, and in extreme cases move away from each other when we don't get along.  Solving problems has been a relatively straight forward process of (1) define the problem, (2) determine the best solution, and (3) set about implementing the solution.  If we needed to grow food in locations with insufficient rainfall, we damned the rivers and started irrigating.  If we needed energy, we pumped oil out of the ground.  If we needed lumber, we cut down the nearest forest. If we didn't like our neighbors, we moved away. Human needs and desires have been met through endless technological innovation and endless consumption of resources.  All of this activity has been undertaken with little attention to the interrelated nature of our existence.  The very concept of "freedom" as western society sees it is based on the notion that we should be left alone to do as we please.  In fact, it could be said that our obsessive preoccupation with freedom and in-dependence contradicts the very underpinnings and intentions of our universe which increasingly appears to be based on dependence and relationships.

We have already entered a time when we can no longer afford to ignore or take casually environmental, cultural and personal relationships.  The time is upon us to recognize that we can't irrigate land indefinitely without polluting it with salt, we can't burn fossil fuels without effecting global warming, we can't cut down trees endlessly without upsetting the carbon/oxygen balance in the atmosphere, and we are quickly running out of places to run to.  We can no longer expect to solve problems in isolation from each other.  Everything we do is about relationships and our mishandling of those relationships is coming back to haunt us. 

The major challenges that face us have not changed much over the centuries.  They are energy, water, food, conflict, the economy, poverty, shelter, and health care.  Our recent poor handling of these challenges has added global warming, environmental pollution and population growth to the list. 

It may seem as if our prospects for the future are pretty dim.  However, they are only dim if we continue to try to solve these problems in isolation from each other.  The solution lies in changing our world view from "survival of the fittest", in-dependence, and self sufficiency to a view that recognizes that the entire universe is held together by relationships.  As we learn to better appreciate and desire those relationships, the solutions to our problems will emerge over time.

Take energy for instance.  The problem with energy is that to be really useful it must be concentrated. Concentration of energy takes lots of time and is pretty inefficient.  Fossil fuels for instance, took millions of years to come into existence and took much more energy from the sun in various forms over time than the fossil fuels will ever produce.  In addition, fossil fuels are hydrocarbons which have side effects of air pollution and carbon dioxide emissions leading to global warming. 

Some isolated solutions which ignore relationships have been suggested to solve the energy problem.  For instance, ethanol and bio-diesel are touted as part of the solution for getting us off dependence on oil.  They are being touted as a "renewable" resource that can be regenerated indefinitely.  Yet, this idea ignores the fact that any solution based on growing crops puts a further strain on depleting aquifers, further uses farm land that is already pushed to the limit to create our food supply, and forces the continued ruination of irrigated land through increased salt content. 

The ultimate solution to energy must take all relationships into account.  The energy source of the future must not only be renewable, it must be kind to the environment, it must be abundant and it must be available in sufficient quantities and concentrations to be useful.  Because the creation and concentration of energy is an inherently inefficient process, it seems likely that the creation process will need to be decentralized.  Ultimately all energy on earth came from or comes from the sun.  We do not have the technology to concentrate and store the energy of the sun in centralized locations.  Solar cells and wind farms take up a lot of real estate.  To solve this problem, generation will need to be decentralized.

Hydrogen has been offered as the ideal fuel, because when the energy in hydrogen is released the only by product is water.  However, as with all forms of energy, creating hydrogen through electrolysis requires that more energy be put in than the resulting energy produced.  By creating hydrogen in decentralized solar electrolysis hydrogen generators, we can solve this problem.  Decentralized generators will have sufficient access to free solar energy to "waste" it on the creation and concentration of hydrogen.  In each back yard so to speak, each family could create hydrogen from their water supply for their own needs and perhaps some extra for sale, which brings us to the subject of water.

The world's supply of fresh water is in crisis.  There are places in China where water is in such short supply that farmers are being forced to pump their septic tanks onto their fields for irrigation.  Many have said that the wars of the future will be fought not over energy, but over water.  Live for a short time in a southwestern U.S. city and you will appreciate the truth of this statement.

Just as with energy, the problem with water is not supply, it is concentration and quality.  There is more than enough water in the world's oceans to provide our water needs for the foreseeable future.  However, that water is not of sufficient quality for drinking, washing, cooking, irrigating, and the other routine water uses.  It is also not in the right place for most of the world to access it.  It is the concentrations of fresh water that are being depleted. 

The most likely solution to the water crisis is desalination of ocean water and piping it to where it is needed.  Both of these processes take energy, which brings us back to energy.  There is a relationship between energy and water.  The solution again seems to point to decentralized production of fresh water from solar energy translated through wind or photo-voltaic processes. 

Whether the problem is energy, water, food, shelter, poverty, or anything else, technology must play a major role in the solution.  As a world, we have passed the point where we can return to subsistence living, or the "simple life."  Each person cannot produce his own food in the back yard, build his own shelter by making mud bricks, and produce his own energy by cutting down the forests.  There are too many people in the world, not enough space, and not a large enough environment for a return to subsistence living.  We must rely on ever advancing technology to provide better and more efficient solutions that don't require as much space, don't pollute the atmosphere, provide sufficient quantities of stuff, etc.

The urgency to solve world problems is being driven by population growth.  Population  control is not a popular subject with western governments.  The right to raise a family is considered sacrosanct in western society.  However, increasing population is the driving force which increases resource depletion at an ever increasing rate.  It seems likely that technology will not evolve fast enough to overcome the environmental pressure created by ever increasing population.  Population control acknowledges relationships by limiting the pressure to find solutions to world problems.

Fortunately we live in a "designer" universe.  Modern scientific thinking has progressed well beyond the simple Newtonian view of the physical world many of us were taught in high school.  Most scientists seem to fall in one of two camps when it comes to describing "why" the universe is the way it is.  Many seem to agree that the universe is too complex and based on too many carefully interwoven relationships to have come about by chance.  These scientists subscribe to the theory that the universe has a "designer" who set up the complex relationships that make it work.  The other theory subscribed to by some scientists is that there are an infinite number of parallel universes with an infinite number of complex relationships, and we just happen to be in this one that worked.  In the absence of any real evidence that there are more universes out there, I side with those in the first group.

Because we live in a "designer" universe, we can rely on things going forward in a orderly manner, and to some extent in ways that we can discern and influence.  The more we understand the "grand design" the more we will be able to perceive the relationships that make our world work and the more we will be able to find integrated solutions that respect the relationships.

Relationships start at the Quantum level and extend right on up through the atomic level, and the molecular level to the level of living organisms and right in to personal relationships and the interrelationships in society.  The struggles between independence and dependence govern human society.  Ultimately we are all dependent on each other and on the grand design in the universe for our existence, but we push and pull against that dependence.  As individuals, we try to free ourselves from interdependence and in a never ending vain attempt to become self sufficient.  In the Christian church we call this sin.  In society we wrangle over economic and social issues that sometimes lead us to the ultimate attempt to be self sufficient which we call war.

In the Church we are no less vulnerable to the struggle between independence and dependence.  We argue and alienate ourselves over this issue and that issue, when we should be exploring our dependence on each other and on God in an effort to embrace the dependence and enhance our relationships. 

The time is fast approaching when we will be less and less able to assert our in-dependence from each other.  Either we will learn to focus on the relationships which make our world possible, or we will suffer the consequences.  As the industrialized nations, we have the time, resources, and responsibility to lead the third world into a future of dependent relationships.  We are all in this together.  Much of the third world is simply trying to survive any way they can.  They don't have the luxury of taking relationships into account.  If we simply try to solve our problems in isolation from the third world, the third world will drag us into environmental oblivion right along with them, even if we are busy doing things right.

 

 

Build a Solid Foundation in Your Horsemanship - Part 3 - Guest Blog

Building a Solid Foundation for Change Part 3 - Making an Impact

By Anke Johnson

Jump to Part 1

In the third of three articles in this series, learn how a solid foundation for positive change plays a role in all areas of your relationship with your horse.

If you've ever played the game Jenga, you can readily understand the importance of having a solid foundation. Without it, anything you try to build on is more likely to crumble and fall. In this final article in this series, I'll explain how foundation impacts all areas of your relationship with your horse, including confidence, self-esteem, time management, stress management, your physical self and your horse's performance.

Using the example from the previous article, your challenge might be to build trust between you and your horse. Building a solid foundation for this change requires you to work with your mental and emotional state, even for the less-obvious mental and emotional aspects, such as time management, stress management, your physical self and your horse's performance. We don't often think about those aspects of the process of making lasting change.

Here's an example from my professional life. In the past, when I got more work than I knew what to do with, I'd panic and shut down. Nothing would get done because of my reaction to this challenge. I had to shift my mental state to be able to walk away from the desk for a few minutes and take a break doing something that energizes me. I might take a short walk or visit my horse to mentally prepare myself for getting back to work. I use this time to create a roadmap-just like the one I discussed in the first article-to feel less overwhelmed. The foundation I've built has given me tools to help me reach my goals without retreating to panic.

In building a solid foundation, you learn more about who you are, why you react in certain ways and whether your life is on a fulfilling path. You learn to focus and simplify so you can fully enjoy life and build a roadmap for the future while having learned from the past. We often know what we can do to make ourselves happy in our horse lives, but because of the imbalances we tend to face between family, work, horses, health and personal time, we get "stuck" and don't know how to proceed. Staying in a place of comfort-even if that means neglecting the time with your horse that you really want-is easier than reaching out of your comfort zone and making positive changes. 

A Shift in Focus

Even with the best intentions to make time for horses, it's easy to fall back into the trap of putting everything else in life first. When I find myself starting to spin out of control again, I look at what's on my plate and determine what I can simplify. Most of us over-commit ourselves because of society pressures and technological "conveniences." All of those distractions cause us harm because we can never turn ourselves "off."  We've never had more opportunities in our lives than today, and without focusing on our goals, these opportunities can easily become distractions that paralyze us from moving forward.

Ask yourself what the consequence is if you don't get the horse time that you need to build your trust. Where will you be in a year if you don't start to make changes? If you were to get this under control, focus and build the trust you want, how would that affect you?

Overcoming Fear

Fear and confidence are universal issues for riders of all ages, levels and disciplines. Building trust is a large challenge for us all. Once a foundation for change is completed, you might realize similar confidence or fear issues out of the saddle as in the saddle! A realistic roadmap that fits into your lifestyle will examine what causes fear, how to build confidence and gives permission just to say, "No," or maybe, "Not right now." The emotional and mental aspects of your relationship are vital here, but also is keeping yourself physically safe.

So often, fear stems from the unknown, and that's when the general anxiety fear-created in our own minds-kicks in (for example, "What if my horse shies?" or "What if my horse runs away with me?").  As equestrians, our partner in this hobby of choice is an animal with prey instincts that outweighs us by about 900-plus pounds; we have to listen to that fear and use it wisely in order to preserve our own selves! But we can become paralyzed with fear that stems from imagination. The "gremlin"-that negative voice inside your head-also comes into play. Controlling your imaginary fears and exposing and silencing your gremlin results in growth and empowerment in every aspect of your life.

With your foundation in place and your roadmap to your goals, you have the tools you need to respond correctly when faced with fear. Our mind, body and emotions work together, so our ability to control our mind will give us the ability to control body and emotions, too. Your foundation will, in an indirect way, impact your body language, your breathing, your focus and the visualizations you're making in your head.

The process of building a foundation to improve your confidence, self-esteem, time management, stress management, your physical self and your horse's performance is as easy as awareness, clarify, simplify and focus! Starting with a solid foundation, developing your roadmap for change, and accepting the support and accountability you need will benefit the relationship between you and your horse forever.

 

 

Bio: Anke Johnson began coaching others more than 20 years ago. She's a certified Professional Health Coach, certified fitness trainer, certified Nutritional Consultant and Reiki Master Practitioner. As a lifelong rider, Anke understands how the challenges of horsemanship and the challenges of life interweave. With Anke's help, equestrians and busy career people gain the self-knowledge, confidence and body awareness they need to get them closer to that perfect ride, in and out of the saddle. Learn more about her business, Natural Solutions by Anke, at www.naturalsolutionsbyanke.com or 608-467-0008.

 

 

Build a Solid Foundation in Your Horsemanship - Part 2 - Guest Blog

Building a Solid Foundation Part 2 - Thriving in Change

By Anke Johnson

Jump to Part 1

Making a stronger commitment to horses is challenging, and changing your ways isn't always easy. The strategies in part two of this three-part series can help you through.

In my first article, I emphasized the importance of a strong foundation for making horses a priority in your life. By now, you've determined your "why" or your purpose in your current pursuits. You've chosen a goal-somewhere you'd like to be with your horse in a year. And you've charted a road map to get you to that goal, dotted with tiny steps to keep you focused along the way.

As you travel along the road map, you may find some resistance along your path. The resistance will come from outside forces (what I call "life happens")-a sick child, a busy week at work-as well as internal forces-that little voice inside your head that says, "You can't make this change last! Who are you kidding?" Its human nature to resist change, because making a change is generally more difficult than leaving things the way they are. 

I used the example of Walter Zettl's, Pat Parelli's and Mark Rashid's foundation principles in the first article because if I had to start over with a new horse, I would want his foundation to be built by a combination of their principles. Likewise, you'll find that your drive for making a change and making a commitment to horses in your life comes from various sources. Whatever the source, successful change starts here!

James Prochaska, Ph.D., director of the Cancer Prevention Research Center and professor of clinical and health psychology at the University of Rhode Island, authored the book Changing for Good, in which he outlines six stages to permanent change:

1. Pre-contemplation: resisting change, making excuses and feeling hopeless about your situation

2. Contemplation: realizing the potential for a positive outcome, stepping out of your comfort zone and enlisting others to assist you in your quest for change

3. Preparation: becoming motivated by your future self, making tougher choices and turning away from old behavior

4. Action: exchanging your habits and seeing rewards

5. Maintenance: balancing new habits, working with lapse and relapse; this can be the toughest stage.

6. Termination: no longer thinking about the challenge of this change; the "new you" becomes your new comfort zone.

These stages-or steps, let's call them-are the clearest outline for change I've ever encountered. The first three-pre-contemplation, contemplation and preparation-are most important of the six. Without these, your foundation will crumble and you will slip back to old habits, like the yo-yo dieter. Setting a solid foundation of the first three steps requires discipline and-possibly even more so-support and accountability. It also asks you to create self-awareness and asks you to resist springing into action without a plan!

Horse people in general are determined, goal-oriented people. Many can make any change or shift they put their minds to; others realize the benefit of having people support them and provide accountability so they can reach their goals. In coaching people through change, I've found that many view the need for support and accountability in the same way they view fear-as a weakness. We don't, however, view riding lessons with a qualified instructor as a weakness-more as a strength!

One coaching client I worked with, described his experience with support and accountability through an elementary-student tutoring program for which he was a volunteer. His student was unfocused and unmotivated, pulling in Ds and Fs. After several weeks of meeting just once per week, this student began getting As and Bs. The only thing my client did for this student was provide support and accountability. This gave my client a wonderful "Aha" moment!  Support and accountability do not show weakness; they exponentially build strength.

Having someone who can support you and hold you accountable-whether it's a friend, family member, trainer or life coach-actually results in a symbiotic relationship. While they support you in your growth, they themselves often learn what they need to reach their own goals.

You might recognize your own story in my personal situation:

I grew up with horses, but when I was married at age 21, I gave up horses as well as the arts-drawing, piano and violin-that I loved so much. When I divorced, I started building a foundation to determine what was most important to me. It was a painful period of discovery but one that's led me back to horses, art and helping others make the same discoveries.

The foundation I built surrounding my horses involved every aspect-the time commitment, social aspect and financial obligations, as well as some emotional and physical fear. The people who got me on my path to a strong foundation allowed me to move past my fears and find my way back to a fulfilling life. A good foundation, plus the people to support it, builds confidence and emotional strength-two elements many riders are seeking.

If you find that you continually try to do things differently but end up in the same place or that you're stuck with habits that aren't getting you to your goals, reach out to a friend, spouse, trainer or life coach so someone can help you get back to the horse life you want. The process of change is not one that takes place overnight, and it's not one that you should be ashamed of asking for help with.

This is not to say that with this support and accountability, you'll never take a few steps backward or run astray of your road map. It's natural to "lapse" into old habits, and that's OK. That's the time you need to call on your support and accountability team, review your road map, reevaluate your goal, make adjustments to stay focused, and get back to work. Certainly, this is the time to make sure your lapse does not turn into a relapse!

In the final article in this series, we'll look at how building a solid foundation for a positive future with horses plays a role in confidence, self-esteem, time management, stress management, your physical self and your horse's performance

Proceed to Part 3

 

Bio: Anke Johnson began coaching others more than 20 years ago. She's a certified Professional Health Coach, certified fitness trainer, certified Nutritional Consultant and Reiki Master Practitioner. As a lifelong rider, Anke understands how the challenges of horsemanship and the challenges of life interweave. With Anke's help, equestrians and busy career people gain the self-knowledge, confidence and body awareness they need to get them closer to that perfect ride, in and out of the saddle. Learn more about her business, Natural Solutions by Anke, at www.naturalsolutionsbyanke.com or 608-467-0008.

Build a Solid Foundation in Your Horsemanship - Part 1 - Guest Blog

Building a Solid Foundation for Change - Part 1

By Anke Johnson

In this three-part series, learn how a more fulfilling life with horses begins when you build a strong personal foundation based on your goals.

In following the teachings of Walter Zettl, Pat Parelli or Mark Rashid, you'll find they all have different techniques for working with horses, but they all agree on one thing: Without a proper foundation, your horse won't progress to his true potential and be able to maintain performance-whether it's on the trail or in the arena.

If you've been away from horses for a few years, don't spend as much time as you'd like with your horses, or find that the time you do spend with them is full of thoughts involving everything except them, you'll find that, just like building a foundation in your horse's training is vital, building a foundation for your relationship with these amazing animals is equally as important.

The concept of "foundation" in training horses is not hard for a lot of people to grasp. The same idea applied to your own life, however, might be less recognizable. How well do you know yourself?  Your foundation is really about getting to know more about who you are and working with your strengths and your values.  In this article, I'll cover the basics of a foundation and how to get started in making a permanent change toward making your horse a priority in your life.

Your Driver

To begin building your foundation, you need to recognize what's important to you, to figure out your "why" or what drives you.  Do a self-assessment to determine how you see horses fitting in your life. Ask yourself why you want horses to be a part of your life, and you'll start to determine your driver-your purpose or motivation. Determining your driver will help you set priorities and help you to refocus if you veer off your path.

For example, when I was in my early 30s, my driver was to get to know myself better. I'd just gone through a divorce and was determined to find out who I was as an independent person. Now I'm in my 40s, and my driver is to be truly present-physically, mentally and emotionally-for my young son as he grows up. In my early 50s, who knows what my driver will be? Maybe it'll be to check off as much as I can from my ‘bucket list" and to have a blast doing so!

Your Destination

The second step toward building a solid foundation is to determine your main goal. The word "goal" can be frightening to some people because it sounds like "work" or a commitment that cannot be changed. Rather, think of this far-reaching goal as your destination. Where do you want to eventually end up? Imagine what you'd like to be doing with horses, say, one year from now, and paint a picture for yourself. Now you have something to reach for. 

My goal is to ride my Thoroughbred, Murphy, at Second Level dressage. I ask myself: What do I need and what does Murphy need to be able to get there? The answer to this question will take us to the third step: the road map to our ultimate destination.

Your Road Map

To get to your end goal, you'll have many smaller goals along the way, sort of like the grains of sand in concrete mix. You can't pour the concrete for a solid foundation without every grain of sand! So focusing one small goal for this week, you can lay out your road map. What does your picture look like now? I'll bet it's much more realistic, and it probably generates some excitement toward achieving it!

A lot of people lose focus here and return to the "old" way of doing things; they quickly take action with little preparation, inviting frustration, anxiety and failure. Completing each step along your road map, however, will ensure a solid foundation for change. You want your foundation to look like provolone cheese-smooth and solid-not Swiss cheese. A solid foundation is one you can build and depend on.

Creating a roadmap is a unique process for each individual.  Because end goals differ, as well as lifestyle, budget and tools available it's best to customize your roadmap so that it works for you.  You can choose to create your own, or use one that's already been created from proven masters and teachers such as Parelli, Rashid or Zettl for example. 

If you do chose to create your own you can follow a basic guideline that I use with all of my coaching clients.  First, determine your end goal, what do you want to ultimately wish to achieve?  Then look at the tools, budget and timeline that you have.  Be realistic here as many a great plan has been foiled by being unrealistic about one or all of these factors.  Finally fill in the small steps that it will take to get you to your ultimate goal. 

For example, if you'd like to be able to canter through an open field with joy and not worry or fear, ask yourself first "where are you now"?  If you're walking and trotting in an indoor or round pen, then maybe one of your small steps would be to take you horse for a walk with you on the ground out in a wider open space.  If you don't have access to an open field, maybe one of your first steps would be to trailer to an open field, and let your horse and you become comfortable and familiar with that location with you on the ground.  Next, you would progress to riding your horse at a walk in either scenario.  Slowly, step by small doable no-fail step you would inch your way toward that ultimate goal!  And I can guarantee as you get closer to that goal, that you look back and think "wow, this was fast"!  If you decide you want to create this roadmap but are looking for some support and guidance, we can certainly do that and put one together for you based on both your and your horses needs.

If you find you're frustrated because you're not progressing along your road map, ask yourself what part of your foundation may be missing. It's possible you've missed a step. Signs that your foundation may have holes in it include procrastination, frustration and excuses, relapse, losing focus, and attaining your goals but not maintaining them to make a permanent change or new habit. You can compare this situation to someone you know who's always had a goal to lose weight but has trouble keeping it off (often called a yo-yo dieter). The culprit here is often a foundation with holes in it.

Perhaps your goal is to build trust with your horse. Your road map may include riding four times each week, but you're only riding twice. By only focusing on the ride, you may be missing the big picture. Your larger goal requires emotional, mental and physical components, which might simply require undemanding time with your horse rather than a strict protocol of riding. Take into account the "full enchilada" as you embark on building that trust with your horse.

Back up a few steps and reevaluate what you can do to ensure you get the time together and, more importantly, the trust that you both need. Once you have the trust, you'll be more productive with your ride time, and you and your horse will have more fun being together!

Once you can relate to the importance of a solid foundation, you can begin to build your own foundation for a positive future with horses. In the following articles in this series, I'll discuss the process of change and the role of a solid foundation in:

- Confidence

- Self-esteem

- Time management

- Stress management

- Your physical self

- Having a positive experience

- Your horse's performance

Proceed to Part 2

 

Bio: Anke Johnson began coaching others more than 20 years ago. She's a certified Professional Health Coach, certified fitness trainer, certified Nutritional Consultant and Reiki Master Practitioner. As a lifelong rider, Anke understands how the challenges of horsemanship and the challenges of life interweave. With Anke's help, equestrians and busy career people gain the self-knowledge, confidence and body awareness they need to get them closer to that perfect ride, in and out of the saddle. Learn more about her business, Natural Solutions by Anke, at www.naturalsolutionsbyanke.com or 608-467-0008.

 

Your False Self and Your Horses - Part Two

In Part One of this article I introduced the false self; the part of all human beings that obsesses about past experiences and worries about potential future problems.  We all have a false self and it is not a bad thing.  It helps is keep our behavior socially acceptable, it tries to keep us safe, and it contributes to the relationships we build with people and horses.  In most of us the false self takes over our thinking to such a great extent that we lose some of our ability to perceive and interact with what is happening in the present moment, including with our horses.  Horses don't have a false self and in fact, they react negatively to people who have an "agenda" and are not being present and honest in the horse/human relationship. 

In Part Two, I suggest ways in which we can "tame" the false self and by doing so, improve our horsemanship.  Let me say again  that the false self is not bad. Our objective is not to get rid of the false self, but to tame it and keep it from getting outside of it's proper boundaries.  

The first thing to understand about taming the false self, is that you cannot tame your false self with your false self.  You cannot set out to change the way your mind works and improve your perception by conscious planning and effort. If you set out to tame your false self by your own strength of will, you will encourage your false self to take over your consciousness even more.  The key to taming the false self is to come at the problem indirectly.  In the same way that communication with horses is best done using indirect non-linear methods, the human spirit is transformed most effectively with non-linear methods.  

The first step is to appreciate how strong your false self is.  To do this, find a quiet spot where you can sit with no distractions for twenty minutes.  Set a timer, so you won't worry about the time or cut your session short.  Sit in a comfortable chair, but not so comfortable that you will fall asleep.  Close your eyes and begin noticing your thoughts.  Here are some types of thoughts you might have: 

1. Am I doing this right?
2. Is this working?
3. I wonder if I should have said that to Mary last week.
   
4. I shouldn't forget to mow the lawn tomorrow.
5. I wonder how I can convince my horse to get in the trailer.
6. How am I going to pay the bills this month.
7. What would someone think if they see me doing this.
8. How am I going to make it up to Bob for blowing it yesterday.
   
9. How am I going to do a better job to get the boss off my back.
10. How am I going to find a job?

These are normal false self thoughts.  Everyone has these types of thoughts. As you sit, you will notice very quickly that something is going on in your mind most every second.  If you try to stop your thoughts, one of two things happens, (1) Your thoughts "go underground." (You are actually still thinking, but you don't realize it, or (2) When you succeed in stopping one thought, another one quickly pops up. 

The objective of this exercise is not to stop thinking, it is to disconnect yourself from each thought as it comes along; to let the thought go and not get emotionally attached to them.  This is not easy and it takes a lot of practice.  If you commit to doing this kind of "contemplative sit" every day for 20 minutes, over time you will see a difference in the way you see things. You will find yourself more perceptive of what is around you.  You will find yourself less critical of your horses and other people.  You will find that you worry less about the future.  These changes may happen gradually over several months or even years. You may not have much sense of progress, or much sense of anything at all happening.  A sense of progress, or accomplishment is false self stuff.  

As you sit and observe your thoughts, think of sitting on a river bank watching your thoughts go down the river in little boats.  As each boat comes down the river towards you, let it go on down the river and you stay seated on the bank in your mind.  Inevitably, you will not be successful all the time.  You may suddenly realize that you have jumped on a boat and are going on down the river attached to a particular thought.  As soon as you realize that this has happened, focus on your breathing, and place yourself figuratively back on the bank.  If this is not enough, focus on a word or two, such as "in" "out" in time with your breathing.

If you have trouble, getting started with this exercise, try  "walking meditation."    Pick a place in nature which is free of human noise and distraction, such as a walking path where few people go.  As you walk, observe your thoughts in the same way, and let them go when they come up. 

Done properly, this exercise should seem like doing absolutely nothing, and that is the point.  Doing and accomplishing is false self stuff. Your false self will not give up easily.  It may pester you about wasting time.  After a day or two your false self is likely to become more and more creative at keeping your attention.  Don't give in.  Keep returning to the bank and letting your thoughts go.  At its heart, this exercise should be not about your "attention" but your "intention".  This means don't pay attention to your thoughts, instead put your energy into "intending" to let them go. 

Don't expect dramatic results quickly.  You may not experience a difference for quite a while.  However, one day, you will realize that you are better at perceiving your horses and less anxious about "achieving" things with them.  Your horses will notice the difference.  You may see their behavior towards you become less obstructive and more cooperative.  As your false self is returned to its proper place in your consciousness, you are likely to see differences in lots of different areas in your life. 

Leave some comments about what you think, or post your questions.  If you missed Part One of this article, you can find it here.

Fast Fixes for Fear with Horses - Guest Blog